I'm Only Human
by faith-chan11
Summary: Makoto feels insecure/left out.


The three boys walked together in the warmth of spring, Haru and Makoto silently listening as Rin went on about something, Haru wasn't really paying attention, but Makoto was, and laughed softly when he concluded his story.

"So, I was thinking," Rin said. "Since regionals are coming up, do you guys want to come practice at Samezuke?"

Makoto noticed that Haru's eyes immediately lit up at the mention of being able to swim. Rin, apparently noticed this too and snickered.

"I knew you would like that idea! So it's a yes, then?"

Haru nodded silently. Makoto paused, knowing that this invite was not exactly directed towards him.

"You two go along, I have some homework I need to finish up... "

He smiled softly, tilting his head to the side. Haru slightly arched one of his eyebrows. This was unusual... Haru and Makoto have every class together, and Haru did not recall being assigned any homework today.

"I'll see you guys later!"

Makoto smiled gently before turning away and walking towards his house, leaving the other two staring after him suspiciously. Haru felt uneasy. Something was wrong about this. His smile was not the genuine Makoto Smile ™ that he was used to and Makoto had seemed less cheerful all that night. Rin was not oblivious to this either.

"Is something wrong with him? He seemed... different tonight." Rin asked with a questioning look when Makoto was out of earshot.

"I don't know... I think I need to talk to him... I think our practice will have to wait..." Haru said, his voice low and full of concern.

Rin was a bit disappointed, but understood. "Alright. Just get everything sorted out with your boyfriend, okay?"

Haru blushed furiously. "Shut up."

Rin cracked up at the blue eyed boy's humiliated reaction and walked away. Haru basically ran towards Makoto's house and, a bit too anxiously knocked on the door. Makoto's mother answered the door and greeted Haru with a warm smile and informed him that Nagisa had just dropped by to see Makoto and the two went to the beach together. Haru thanked her and left quickly. He was utterly confused. Nagisa lives considerable distance away and probably not just drop by for no good reason.

"Yeah right, 'homework' " he muttered to himself.

He walked quietly towards beach and caught sight of Nagisa and Makoto sitting just at the shore of the ocean, the younger boy splashing his feet in the water. Haru quickly hid behind the fence next to the dock, just close enough to hear their conversation.

"Honestly, Mako-Chan, just tell him how you feel! You're being so ridiculous." Nagisa said lightheartedly with a giggle.

"I can't..." Makoto said with a sad smile.

"Awww, come on, Mako-Chan! I didn't come all this way for you to tell me you're a coward! Why can't you?" Makoto put his face in his hands.

"Nagisa... don't you see? He's not in love with me... We both know who he loves." The blonde boy's cheerfulness suddenly faded.

"Oh... Well you don't know that!" His energy picking back up. "So what he pays attention to him a lot? I know he loves you a lot too!"

Makoto sighed. "I don't think it's the same kind of love, Nagisa. Rin has always had a special connection with Haru that I could never compare to."

Haru's eyes widened. "All I've ever wanted to do is take care of him, to protect him, but that's not what he wants. He wants someone who can match his intensity and passion... It makes him feel alive... and who am I to stop that?" Makoto was tearing up slightly but still wearing a sad smile as he stared into the night sky.

"He wants to be free... And all I've done is try to hold him back. I just don't want him to get hurt. I love him so much." Haru held his mouth to stop himself from gasping aloud. A single tear ran down Makoto's face and he quickly brushed it away and looked down at the sand. Nagisa stared at him in pity, all traces of happiness gone, at a loss for words.

"I'm sorry, Mako-Chan." Was all he could say. Makoto shook his head. "No... I'm sorry, Nagisa. I shouldn't have said anything... I didn't mean to weigh you down with all my emotional garbage. I'm fine, I'll get over it."

Nagisa just stared at him with wide eyes. "Mako-Chan! Don't be sorry, think about yourself for once!" Makoto smiled softly and glanced down at his watch.

"It's getting late, shouldn't you be heading back home? Your parents will get worried..." Nagisa bounced up.

"Oh shoot! You're right! I gotta catch my bus! Call me if you need anything and don't stay here too late! Bye Mako-Chan!" Nagisa waved enthusiastically and giggled, running towards the bus stop.

The green eyed boy sat there alone and waved goodbye to Nagisa with a weak smile. Haru sat on the other side of the fence, shocked. Makoto is in love with him. Makoto is really in love with him.

"Why am I so useless?" Makoto said softly.

Haru was taken aback at how insecure his usually seemingly confident friend was acting; he had never seen him break down like this. The raven haired boy began to stand up.

"It's because I'm weak... I'm scared of everything, I burden people with my feelings, I meddle too much, I'm never able to help at all..." Makoto continued. "Damn it! I'm so selfish... I can't even be happy for him! This is what he wants... to be free." He sighed hopelessly.

Haru silently approached him from behind and turned Makoto around to look him in the eyes. The taller boy jumped and cried out a little at the unexpected visitor. "Ah! Haru! I-" Haru took Makoto's face into his hands and yanked him closer until their lips were pressing against each other.

Haru could feel Makoto's rapid pulse under his hands. Makoto eventually calmed down a bit and kissed him back softly. When Haru finally released his grip on Makoto, the taller boy pulled back and gasped. Haru's face was unreadable except for his growing blush. Makoto was shocked and speechless.

"Wh- What? Haru?" He eventually choked out.

Haru silenced him. "Listen. Makoto. You're not useless, you're not a burden, you're not weak, you're not meddlesome, and you definitely aren't selfish."

Makoto blushed furiously. "Haru? Did you- , How-? I-"

The olive haired boy stuttered. "And I am sure as hell not in love with Rin." Haru said firmly.

Makoto's eyes widened. "Haru! Did you-" "Yes. I came back to talk to you. I was... worried."

Makoto blushed even deeper. "Y-you heard- everything?"

"Yeah... But Makoto... I..." Haru blushed all the way down to his neck. "Love you too... You know that."

Makoto's emerald eyes sparkled. "B-but Haru, he-"

Haru interrupted him. "He is just my friend. You're my boyfriend." Makoto smiled a tiny smile.

"Now kiss me again." Haru commanded.

Makoto wrapped his arms around Haru's slender waist and pressed his lips to the smaller boy's gently. Haru put his arms around Makoto's neck and ran his fingers through his soft, olive hair. Haru broke away after a while, still stroking Makoto's fluffy hair.

"I love you, Makoto. Don't ever say those lies about yourself ever again. Don't even think them. We would all be lost without you. Especially me." He said softly.

Makoto smiled sheepishly and rested his head on Haru's shoulder. "I'm sorry I made yo-"

"Don't even start that. It's my turn to apologize. I shouldn't have neglected you. I'm sorry, Makoto."

Makoto smiled a real, genuine, Makoto Smile™. "I love you, Haru-Chan."

Haru sighed at the use of the nickname. "Ah, drop the Chan."

Makoto giggled tenderly and brushed the bangs out of Haru's face. Even Haru smiled briefly. Makoto surprised Haru by picking him up and holding him like a child, to which Haru protested indignantly."Ah! What's the big idea?"

Makoto chuckled heartily. "I'm carrying you home." He said nonchalantly. Haru began to protest again but suddenly found he was very tired.

"I can-" He yawned conspicuously. "Walk..."

Makoto smiled at him like a saint. "But I want to..."

Haru huffed but wrapped his arms around Makoto's neck and sank into his warmth. "Fine. But I'm not a cat."

Makoto laughed again, feeling like his head was in the clouds. "Whatever you say, Haru-Chan!" And softly kissed his nose. Haru's heart fluttered as Makoto carried him home.


End file.
